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What exactly IS "normal" really??

Please tell me.

What is normal?

Is normal getting straight A's, going to college and getting a job?

Is normal getting married and having kids and living in a beautiful home?

Is normal functioning at almost 100 every day with no hiccups or bumps?

Is the norm a perfectly functioning brain?

I mean tell me exactly what is "normal" because even in the examples I listed above I can add in about 100 things between the words that would make it imperfect. Reading in between the lines. Life isn't a straight path. It isn't perfect.

I hate the word normal. To me it has become a derogatory term. It insults, ostracizes and demeans. It makes outcasts, it makes groups. Don't get me wrong, I have found myself using the term "normal" before and each time I catch myself and feel sad. I then find myself rephrasing and using it with hand quotations for "lack of a better word". We need a different word because, really, what IS normal??????

When did the definition or description of what is "normal" even happen?

Who and what defined what it is to be "normal".

How can we use one word to describe 7 billion people with 7 billion little lives that consist of 7 billion completely different feelings, situations, lifestyles, thoughts, opinions, beliefs, interests and behaviors. Being "normal" has become a standard. A comparison. Anything that falls outside of this word isn't right, isn't up to standards.

Anything other than "normal" is DIFFERENT



Different is a beautiful term.

'not the same as another or each other; unlike in nature, form or quality. distinct; separate'

Isn't that the truth? We are not the same as another?

It describes each and every one of us.

It describes 7 billion people.

What term do we use then, when someone is going through a hard time, having trouble or acting differently than they usually do? What term do we use when our child struggles to do certain tasks when their other friends are doing just fine? What term do we use when we see someone having a hard time functioning?

"Susy is not acting normal"

"That is not normal"

I understand that when people have breakdowns, mental health disorders or deep emotional hurt and they aren't acting like the rest of us, it is easy to categorize and compare and I also understand that a lot of times the term "normal" isn't being used with malice.


How can we turn this around?

How can we be kind?

How can we discuss diversity without making others feel different in a harmful way?

People that are going through mental health disorders, breakdowns, emotional challenges or anything outside the "norm" already feel lost and confused. They already feel "different" from their peers or what our society has labeled as "normal". They do not need to be grouped into a negative pit of isolation.

I have anxiety/PTSD, I know what it's like to feel "different" or the opposite of whatever everyone thinks "normal" is. It is a horrible feeling. It is an isolating feeling. It does not feel good, it feels confusing and frustrating. It has taken many years of working on myself to be comfortable in my skin. It has taken many years of analyzing and researching and remembering what my sister went through to fully understand. My eyes are open and accepting and yearning to learn more and to dig deeper. Dig beneath the surface and to seek the difference in all of us.

Maybe different is the norm.

Different is normal.

Normal is different.

I don't have the answer. This blog is an accumulation of all the thoughts and ideas that run through my brain constantly. Since my sister, the word "normal" has bothered me and it has affected me but more importantly it affected her. It made her, me, my family, constantly question our motives and our actions, our decisions and our reactions.

It made us question,


Diversity is what makes our world beautiful.

We are beautiful in all our

















If normal means not being different then I don't ever want to be normal.


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